Mother's Day 2008

It's my first Mother's Day, and it is affecting me more than I thought. (I have a little bit of a hard time being vulnerable in "public"--like in a blog!--so bear with me...) I always knew I would love being a mother, but I just didn't understand how much. I didn't truly understand what it meant to love so much it hurts. Everything about being a mother has, and is, making me a better person. I am deeply grateful for the beautiful gift of my baby girl. A friend sent me this poem for Mother's Day...every line in the poem so perfectly describes how I feel...

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on, pooped on, chewed on, peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests, or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.